Mom’s early days – Germany

  • When do you leave hospital?

If it was natural birth with no complications, on the third day after giving birth. I will add that even though I had my first child via C-section, I gave natural birth to 2 of my younger kids.

  • Is it typical for someone to move in with you for x-weeks and help around?

Typically no. Only immediate family is getting used to new family member(s) and learning their new roles.

  • What role does husband/partner play in the early stage?

The biggest role I would say, next to the mother. He is there to take care of older kids as well as physical and mental wellbeing of the mother.

  • When do women go back to work?

On average, 13-14 months after giving birth. We can take leave up to 3 years , but only first year is paid leave.

  • How many women leave work to be stay at home moms?

Very little, almost none. (But at the same time, most women I interact with are doctors like I am.) However, very often women work “teilzeit” or reduced workhours per week. This is common among parents, regardless of gender.

  • What are the main reasons for that (i.e. they genuinely want to stay with kids or find it hard to navigate both)?

Women that do stay at home, simply don’t want to work. Germany has a really good social care (provides you with an apartment and covers basics expenses). At the same time, almost no one does this. Germans take so much pride in their work.

  • How expensive are daycares?

State daycares not so much, private ones a little bit more, 150€ – 250€ monthly.

  • How expensive are the nannies?

I’m not familiar with this information, don’t know anybody with a nanny.

  • Are there in-home daycares (or is there an alternative between a daycare and a nanny)?

There are, they are called “tagesmutter” = day mom. These are women with some degree (typically, child psychology or education), and their home is adapted to a small group of children (up to 5).

  • Are there support groups for moms?

In the bigger cities, there probably are. However, we live in a small town and I haven’t heard of such groups.

  • Can moms work remotely (certain jobs)?


  • Can you bring the baby with you to work?

Usually no.

  • How do you spend the maternity leave?

Spending time with my baby, which I enjoy so much. I also find breastfeeding both rewarding and exhausting and I cannot even imagine doing this while having a full time job. A baby is a full time job, I, for example, have 2 older kids and my days are dedicated to them.

  • Does your baby sleep in the same room as you? When do you transition them out?

She sleeps in the same bed as me right now but I know a lot of German moms whose babies sleep in a separate rooms as early as 2 or 3 months.

  • Did you feel ready when you went back to work?

Actually no. The more time i spend with my kid at home, the less I’m ready to start to work. I am enjoying her so much and appreciate it even more since I know she will soon start daycare. At the same time, I feel a lot of pressure not to stay at home longer (i.e. pressure not to use full 3 years at home).

  • What was the hardest thing about going back to work?

Thinking about my kid non stop – is she crying, does she miss me, is she full, is somebody ignoring her needs etc. Plus, there is this fear regarding my own job performance after the leave.

  • Is there a system in place that supports moms with postpartum depression?

I am not aware, but I might be wrong. Also, I was super lucky not to suffer from it, which could be a main reason why I never had the need to find out more about that.

  • Is there such a thing as lactation specialist?


  • Was there a nurse coming to visit you/check in on you and the baby after you were released from the hospital?

Yes. Doula came every day in the beginning and we were in contact, so whenever i needed her she would come over. And this was covered with my insurance.

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