Germany offers some of the most generous parental leave policies in the world, yet cultural expectations and personal experiences shape how new mothers navigate their postpartum period. I had the opportunity to speak with a mother of three, a doctor living in Eastern Germany, about what maternity leave really looks like in practice. From the realities of newborn care to the balance between work and family, here’s what she had to say.
If it was a natural birth with no complications, typically on the third day after giving birth. Even though I had my first child via C-section, I was able to have natural births for my two younger kids.
Typically, no. Only immediate family adjusts to the new baby and learns their new roles.
The biggest role, next to the mother. He takes care of the older kids and supports the physical and mental well-being of the mother.
On average, 13-14 months after giving birth. Women can take up to three years of leave, but only the first year is paid.
Very few, almost none. Most women I interact with are doctors, like me, and continue working. However, many parents (both mothers and fathers) work teilzeit, meaning reduced hours per week.
Women who stay home do so by choice. Germany has a strong social support system, covering basic expenses, but very few opt for it. Germans take great pride in their work.
State daycare is affordable. Private daycare costs around €150 - €250 per month.
Not really. I don’t know anyone who has a nanny.
We have tagesmutter ("day moms"), women with qualifications (often in child psychology or education) who care for up to five children in their home.
Probably in big cities, but I live in a small town and haven’t come across any.
Yes, depending on the job.
Usually, no.
Spending time with my baby, which I love. Breastfeeding is both rewarding and exhausting. I can’t imagine doing it while working full-time. A baby is a full-time job, and I also have two older kids who need me.
Right now, she sleeps in my bed. However, many German moms transition their babies to separate rooms as early as 2-3 months old.
Not at all. The more time I spent at home, the harder it was to leave. I love being with my baby, but I also feel pressured not to take the full three years at home.
Constant worry. I kept thinking—Is she crying? Does she miss me? Is she full? Are her needs being met? Also, I was nervous about my job performance after the break.
I’m not sure, but I might have missed it because I was lucky not to suffer from it.
Yes.
Yes. A doula visited daily at first, and we stayed in contact. She would come whenever I needed her, and my insurance covered this.